Thursday, December 10, 2009

"You have to know where you are to know where you need to go" - Me

Where I’m at, its finally frozen and winter has finally settled in like an old, cold hearted hag. And that makes me sort of sad. I love the cold, but I hate the snow that comes with it. But until it starts to warm up again, I don’t see myself wearing my Kilt.
I did a blog about my Kilt a few months back, and I have come to love the thing. When the weather finally gets warm enough so that I don’t risk anything falling off to frost burn, I’m going to try wearing it every couple weeks. It’s really mighty comfortable. Even with the weird stares I get while wearing it. Sometimes I like the stares, because deep down I know what they're missing.
There’s a sense of wild freedom and abandonment that one can’t achieve with shorts or pants alone. And the range of flexibility and movement is amazing. All you dress wearers know what I’m talking about! All I doubt should try on a dress or skirt to see what I’m talking about. Don’t deny wanting too.
But anyways, I had a good conversation with a good friend the other day. We talked about a few things, and we touched upon me losing weight, and what was kind of the motivation behind it. Ever since I had the “What the Hell am I doing to myself?” moment that started all this, I’ve been rather kind of contemplative. I told said friend I had to know where I was to know where I had to go. And it’s been a good, productive trip since I realized where I was. Since the beginning of July, I’ve lost 80 pounds. It hasn’t been all fun and games. It hast been easy. Trust me, giving up drinking at least a liter of soda and eating a lot wasn’t easy or fun.
It’s come with a life style change that I’m surprised I made. I’ve always had people nag me that I needed to lose weight, and deep down I know they were right, but I never changed. But in July, something just finally snapped. From somewhere, I got the desire to make it happen, because I was sick of what I had become. I’m walking away with a new respect for that particular emotion. Without desire, who would you be? Where would you be without the ever driving emotion?
But without dedication, desire can get you so far. I’ve witnessed that first hand. I haven’t made the best food choices lately, and I think that’s why my weight has stabilized recently. I didn’t go back to the way I was eating before, but still I could do better. Now to recommit and start the right path again. I’ve got about 120 more pounds I want to lose, and they aren’t going to work themselves off. And to all you nay Sayers that think I’m not going to make, you might be right. But I’m going to try my damndest to get there. So cheer me on or get out of the way!


bluefish said...

You're absolutely right that one has to have dedication and drive in life. I get very depressed when I meet people who say they have no goal or desire, nothing that they are passionate about, except maybe watching television or something like that. I respect you greatly for having a goal and working to achieve it. I think the people who say you can't do something are the same people who don't even try, but instead spend their whole lives parked on a couch, with no accomplishments or glory, simply doing what the rest of the world is also doing. I would say I'm proud that you've come so far, but that would sound patronizing, so instead I'll just say that I have a feeling you'll make it the rest of the way, since you've already come so far.

Your introductory quote reminded me of this:

`Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?'

`That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said the Cat.

`I don't much care where--' said Alice.

`Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat.

`--so long as I get somewhere,' Alice added as an explanation.

`Oh, you're sure to do that,' said the Cat, `if you only walk long enough.'

Chixon said...

wow brack keep up the good work!

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