“Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent.” - Victor Hugo

I am a fan of music. A lot. Especially of Movie Soundtracks that are instrumental based. I find that this type of music evokes more of a emotional response than a song with lyrics would. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big fan of lyrical music as well. So, I don’t want to come across as putting it down. But most of the time, my soul sings to the sound of the song than the words that expresses there in.

For example, let’s take the Braveheart Soundtrack. When I close my eyes while listening to it, I can feel myself running through the green mountains of Scotland or preparing to fight the British at Falkirk. Or when listening to the Gladiator Soundtrack, through my mind’s eye I can feel and see the epicness that is the Grand Coliseum.

But that’s not it. Have you ever listened to either listened to Unforgiven or Nothing Else Matters by Metallica just for chords and rifts? Next time you hear a song that has a good rhythm that you like, just pause and listen. Try and listen to the instrumental and not the lyrics. Close your eye and let it wash over you. Hopefully you enjoy it as much as I do.

But whatever happens, let the music move you.

"Your future depends on many things, but mostly on you." - Frank Tyger

People have asked me over the past few months pertaining to “What are you going to be when you grow up?” And I’ve never really had a good answer. I still don’t. You see, I’m one of those people that has many likes, but no great passion for any one thing.

I know I should get some sort of schooling in something. But it’s hard for me to devote myself to one thing if I’m going to be hating it in X amount of years. I know you’re probably saying that’s too rigid of thinking because people have many job changes in their lives. But I’m not like that. When there’s a decision this big on the table, I want to have the confidence to stick to that decision.

What I think my problem is my passion for anything. I don’t have the burning hunger to go after… what? You say I should just go and take generals and see if anything perks my interest? I’ve tried that. Nothing. And I just don’t want to pick something out of the blue that I might like, because it feels like I’m just flushing money down the tube.

I need to kindle my passion. For anything. Even if it was for knowing the right mixture for fertilizer. For I’m only existing, not living. I think Jack London said it best:

"I would rather be ashes than dust! I would rather that my spark should burn outin a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry rot. I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. The proper function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time"

But my future is in my hands. And I’ll be damned if I can’t find some passion in this life. I want to live!

"It was too good to last, he thought. Might as well have been a dream, he thought" - Ernest Hemingway

“I sat on top of the ridge looking out towards the pristine valley. With Her. It was one of those nights: the full moon seemed to fill half the sky. The beams seemed to turn the clear night into an ethereal day. We both sat there in cold, crisp air gazing into the valley below us in content as the winter wind mournfully blew through the trees and around us. We both knew each other well, and were simply happy to be with the other, even in silence. And I never knew Her name…”


Because I freaking woke up. What the Hell?!

Though I woke up, I’ve always have fondness for dreams. For I think they hold a power all their own. But it has irked me to no end that I don’t and/or remember my dreams. I wish that I can dream more often and remember. Statistically I would say that 95% of the time, I don’t dream. 4% of the time, I knew I dreamed the night before, but the knowledge of what I dreamed dissipates like fog before the rays of the early morning sun.

That rare 1% is just simply amazing. They are so vivid they stay with me forever. The dreamed I just shared with you happened to me about 7 years ago when I was serving my mission in Alaska. It really put me in a good mood all day. But that’s how rare I get those types of dreams. Once a decade. So hopefully I’m due for one here soon. For what is a man that doesn’t dream?

“What is a man if his chief good and marked of his time be but to sleep and feed?” - Hamlet

This quote from Hamlet made me pause and think. I definitely don’t want me life to end up being summed up as “sleep and feed”. My Friends (you know who you are) lately have been trying to get /motivate me to get more exercise. From playing Frisbee (which left me feeling like I need a wheel chair the next day) to even making me having a go at Dance Dance Revolution (Dancing Bear?? enough said). When all is said and done, they made me move, they made me sweat, and we all had a good time. And now my life has a goal for the rest of the year. Simply put: Smurfs for Thor Halloween 2009.

Yeah, it sounds like a Political slogan, whatever. But it’s a goal, and it’s a good thing. Until Halloween, there’s going to be a lot of complaining, bitching, and me not answering my phone because I don’t want to go on a walk. But I have friends. Good friends. The type that give me a big bag of candy and then tell me not to eat all of it and share it with people friends. And friends that are persistent enough to help me even if it is for a silly (kind of) reason.

I’m stubborn. I’m lazy. I don’t like asking for help (I am Man, hear me Roar). So, I have some simple requests. If you see me drinking soda, take it away and/or make me feel guilty about it. If you hear me suggest eating something that Thor wouldn’t eat, let me know. And ask me to do something that requires the use of moving two legs. Because I’m sick and tired of heading towards the fail that is Rufus. But I need everyones help. And its definitely worth the effort.